Long Time No Post
Please please pardon the long delay in posts. A lot going on here, but who cares about all that, let’s get to the terrible advice, shall we? Pretend this little thing never happened? Just call it even?...
View ArticleOne Or The Other
He can’t figure it out… “This is a picture of a guy on my street who nonchalantly walks his skateboarding dog every day. One time I said something amazing to him like, “What will they think of next!”...
View ArticleDon’t Make Him
I think I pissed him off: “I only drink two things: Coffee and Alcohol. I only smoke two things: Cigarettes and Weed. I only shoot two things: Hoops and Clay Pigeons. Don’t make me add a third, bitch.”...
View ArticleOld Dirty
His high school memories are catching up with him: “It’s so hard to tell when my jeans are stained and when I’m having an acid flashback. Don’t wanna be a guy who washes his jeans a lot though. Gotta...
View ArticleIt’s Not Over
Until your old shitty body says it is. This makes me so sad about getting older: “Oh I’m sorry dick and bladder, I figured we were done peeing when you completely stopped peeing and let me zip up my...
View ArticleHow Many Times Can One Man Get Fired?
Or quit or whatever other bullshit… “Well I quit my job today. Had to give my dipshit boss a ride to the Saab dealership because his Saab’s vulva collapsed and I take a turn real hard along the way...
View ArticleShoutout To The Youth
From a complete dickhead: “Hey I just wanted to thank everyone under the age of 30 for being so absolutely shitty at everything that it gives drunks with emotional problems like me a second chance at...
View ArticleHow To Have Sex With Your Co-Workers
Important information for summer internships: “The best way to nail coworkers is to go out to a bar with them and hit on other random chicks at the bar in front of them. You probably won’t get laid...
View ArticleJust Don’t
Or do. I dunno anymore… “Just punched a bee out of the air. Why? Because I could. Most people can’t even swat a bee against a wall, let alone punch the honey out of one that’s MID FUCKING FLIGHT. And...
View ArticleThe Good Old Days
Surprise! He misses them: “I yearn for the days when you could just casually lie in conversation without some fucktard Googling your lie and calling you out on it. Just babbled on about some historical...
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